Fucking done. I’m nothing but a useless cripple now

 I am sitting here feeling so discouraged. All the new (cheap) furniture I have bought is starting to be delivered. But what I hadn't anticipated is me not being able to put it together. I have lived on my own for 25 years. And I have been doing things for myself for that entire time. I have put more flat-pack furniture together than I know how to count. But things are very different now. This time ~ I have no use of my dominant hand!! I can't hold a screw (I can't feel it so it just falls out of my grasp) I can't tighten with a screwdriver. I have no dexterity or strength to do everything I need to do to put this furniture together. 

Today I got my new tv stand for the livingroom. I got half of it together but realize it's all wonky because I can't tighten anything. I am so frustrated right now I am ready to throw it all in the garbage and just not have furniture. I'll put the damn tv on the floor.

This is a deficit from my car accident I hadn't anticipated. Not being able to do things for myself anymore. I have been trying all afternoon to put this fucking thing together but I just PHYSICALLY cannot do it.

So what do I do now? I don't have anyone in my life who can help. They all hate me. I am on my own and this is one of the consequences of being someone who noone likes. Theres noone to help you do the big things. So I sit here ~ ready to give up. I have tried over and over again to put this thing together and I just dont' have the strength or the dexterity. 

So I am going to just throw the whole damn thing in my storage unit and give up.

I fucking hate being disabled and not being able to do things for myself anymore.

I have more furniture coming and I won't be able to put that together either. So this is it,... this is my life now. Alone and not capable anymore. 

I fucking hate flat-pack furniture and I fucking hate that I am a crippled gimp that can't build it.

So what the fuck do I do now with no furniture and all this money WASTED as I can't do it myself.

THIS is why I fucking hate my life.

I just don't want to bother with this shit anymore.

I'll just sleep on the fucking floor and have no fucking furniture

Do I sound mad?? I'm so fucking mad I jsut want to jump into the gorge and be done with it. At least I'm not too crippled to do that!!!

So this is my life now. Crippled and alone and useless