I am convinced I am going to have a heart attack or a stroke in the next few weeks. My symptoms have gotten worse. Now I go from bouts of high blood pressure to where it drops suddenly to the lowest numbers I have ever seen. I have felt weak,... shaky,... like I have had a glass of wine.
I know I am dying of heart disease.
Yet I begged this province for a physical from any doctor who would give me one ~ but no doctor would. Now I believe it's too late. I think my heart disease has advanced so much I have to worry whether I am even going to make it to BC in 10 days.
I finally got in at the walk in clinic yesterday, but I didn't even see the doctor. THIS is the result of Dr. Ray traumatizing me with her FORCED health care and throwing me in Homewood where I was traumatized. I am STILL afraid to seek medical attention for fear they will turn it around and make it mental illness and lock me up. It happens all the time. So as I was sitting in the that little room waiting for the doctor ~ I panicked. Just last month I had police banging on my door threatening to break it down if I didn't answer it ~ all because my blood pressure was high (which was normal for me and wasn't different than any other day! I know my body!!!) So for them to FORCE me to get medical attention really scared me. I really felt like I had lost my right to freedom. To choose,... and as I sat in that room waiting,... and waiting,... and waiting,.... my mind just woudn't go from that cop banging on my door threatening to break it down. Not becasue I did anything wrong - but becasue they thought they knew best about my health care and were FORCING me to get some.
So as I sat there all I could think of was the doctor was going to come in and say you HAVE to go to emergency and I did not want to do that. I resent Ontario's health industry and I dont' think they have taken any care of me at all and I don't trust them. When you bring COPS into health care - of course it's going to be traumatizing,.... of course I am going to be terrified,....
So after half an hour of waitng inside that tiny room ~ i panicked and got up and left without even seeing the doctor. I couldnt' risk them forcing me to go to emergency and then something happening to prevent me from boarding that plane to BC. I dont' trust that they will not use force to prevent me from boarding that plane,.... my past experience shows me they have the control and the power to do it ~ and I have no say,... so I panicked and ran.
No health care for me
Thank you Dr. Ray for traumatizing me so much with your 'care' that I run from health care now,....
Today I feel awful. I woke up at four in the morning with a headache. A low grade all over my head headache. I took my blood pressure and it was very low. That is not good for me.
But I am too terrified to go get help,.....
So I think I am going to have a heart attack or a stroke in the next week or two,... yet I am too terrified from Dr. Ray to go get help.
I finally find my break in life and am escaping this hellhole of Ontario Housing and I will probobly die of a heart attack before I even get to go,....
When you have cops banging on your door saying they will "BREAK IT DOWN" if you dont' answer it and you didn't even do anything wrong but have high blood pressure - you dont seek medical help after that,...
When is this community going to understand they dont help with their aggresive care - they just terrify us into hiding when we need the help the most.
I am dying ~ I can feel it.
But I am too terrified of being 'locked up' that I can't get help!
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