Fucking Benefits are going to be the end of me

I still hadn't managed to get downtown to get that photo copy that the benefit people need. It takes a lot out of me to walk all that way and I just walked yesterday so I really wanted a few days rest. However, I received a lovely threatening letter from the National Disability people,... If I don't get that photo copy to them by Octover 1st - your application will be automatically denied and closed. 

This pisses me off. As the 'able bodied' community has no fucking idea what we go through to get by. That person who is demanding my photo copy is probobly a young person - able bodied - who has a car and has no idea what it's like to live disabled without a vehicle. I hate that they FORCE us to walk when I wasn't really up to it. But I did it. I walked to the printing store and I got their fucking ONE PIECE OF ID photo copy and sent it to them. If this doens't get me the benefit? I am just walking away from this benefit.

I get so sick of people thinking we are as able bodied as they are ~ I am NOT! and they all assume we have some SUV or some vehicle to jump into whenever we need to. 

Transportation has been the biggest problem in my life living here. No reliable taxi service (we have one taxi for all of Fergus and the wait is always an hour or more,...). There are NO BUSES. There is NO transportation available to me so I have to walk everywhere I go. To get groceries,... to take the kittens to the vet,.... anywhere I go I have to WALK with my walker. And our main street through town is under construction so the sidewalks are closed. I had to walk way out of my way today to get to the printers.I wouldn't care so much but getting a letter saying they will denie my benefit and close my application if i dont' walk downtown today!!!!!!

So fucking sick of being poor

So fucking sick of begging for benefits

So fucking sick of being bullied in my own home

I need the fuck out of Fergus but I'm realizing that I may never be able to leave here as,.... why????? I'm poor and therfore landlords won't rent to me

NO FUCKING CHOICES for me,.....

So0 fucking annoyed with this life.

I want so badly to go up north and live in a tiny cabin and just never talk to another human being ever again.

I am so fucking done with people