NO HOT WATER and I feel gross

 Well it's been a night of mops and buckets. My water heater has broken and is spewing water out into my utility room. I had to call housing at 2:00 this morning. It's a mess. I have all my stuff from that room scattered all over my apartment,... the litter boxes sitting out,... it's a huge mess. 

But the worst part is, I haven't had a shower in 3 days. And it doesn't look like I'm getting hot water now until at least tomorrow and maybe Monday. I have OCD. I shower every single day. I feel gross and disgusting if I dont'. And that is exactly how I feel right now. GROSS. I am desperate for a shower.

Yesterday I tried a "whore bath" filling the tub up with an inch of cold water but when i went to turn on the tub tap? No water at all came out. So I had to boil pots of water and then carry cold and hot water into the bathroom to fill up the tub about one inch so i could at least bathe. This morning I woke up to another flood - more mopping - and now I'm just mad that I am sitting here needing a shower but can't have one. I am actually thinking about getting  hotel room for the day/night just so I can shower.

Isn't it illegal to leave people without a way to bathe??? I had to boil the kettle just to wash my face and the dishes. Don't they have to supply you with access to showers or a place to clean up??? I don't know,... it just sounds like noone cares that I am sitting here - miserable - DESPERATELY needing a shower!! And I don't even know when I WILL finally be able to have one.

I got no sleep last night because of all the commotion. 

Living in Ontario Housing sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to get out of this hell hole,.... but there just doens't seem to be a place on this planet for me,... I am invisable and alone and unwanted,....

All because I am mentally ill,....

For those of you that actually believe there is no stigma to being mentally ill?? Let me tell you that I have had nothing BUT discrimintaion and stigma towards my mental illness. 

NOONE wants to deal with the sick,... so throw them away and let them rot and fend for themselves,...

All I want is a fucking shower but I cna't even have that

I hate my life,... I hate this building and I hate the bullies in it that have caused me to hide and isolate.

And you don't thrive,... you suffer. Becasue everywhere you turn it't no,... no,... no,... 

I can't help thinkking it would be so much easier just ot jump into the gorge and get it over with,... you won't need a shower to go to heaven,... but they will probobly hate me up there too,...