I was on Facebook and got upset,... how many times has that happened??? (Facebook really is a cesspool of nasty trolls)

On one of our community groups a woman wrote in to say she would like to give a $100 grocery card to someone in need. Beautiful gesture. Thats not what I am upset about. It was the comments that followed that upset me. And it PROVES that people living on benefits are looked down on and thought of as UNDESERVING.  I am one of these people. So it offended me to hear such judgmental comments that were made. (welfare is an old term for benefits)

"Don't give it to anyone on welfare - they will just spend it on drugs and booze"

"Don't give it to someone on welfare as they already get so much for free,..."

"People on benefits are just lazy and don't want to work and just want hand outs instead"

These are just three of the commnets. But there are HUNDREDS of them. And most say the same thing. People on benefits are just greedy and aren't deserving of this gift. I was appalled. These people don't know me or anyone else living below the poverty line obviously, as their facts are wrong.  We already make enough?? What a joke,...

So how am I suppose to have any pride or feel good about myself when half of the community thinks I am just lazy and don't want to work. They literally came out and said we aren't deserving,.... DON'T GIVE IT TO US!!!

I'm so sick of this Same as how people think it is my fault that I fell down here in the first place,... that is one that really pisses me off. My own family believe that I am down here because of my bad choices. You can't fight that. So I just let them believe that and don't even fight it. 

So I have zero pride or self worth. And these lovely folk in the Wellington County community page all feel the same. I am undeserving and lazy and just want to live off of others. You can't change their minds. That is what they believe. All I can say to them is "There but for the Grace of God go I,..." 

No wonder I am so angry with society right now. They literally just wrote I am undeserving along with every other person on benefits.

I feel like the biggest piece of shit right now.  You just can't win for losing,....

But to the people who made these comments,... I challenge you to come and talk to me personally. I will give you a few home truths. but people like this ~ don't want to listen. they just want to make us look bad. And THIS is the reason POVERTY is swept under the rug. No one wants to hear about it and if they do they just complain we are draining the system. 

I can't win. I just can't fucking win.

I am doing some serious soul searching today. I really do think I have to just do it. Make plans to get the fentanyl in Guelph and just do it. I can't bear being the low life trailer trash the world thinks I am. Life is too hard already ~ without people against you as well,... it's overwhelimng being poor. But being judged on top of it is very hurtful.

Which is yet another reason I have chosen to hide away and isolate from the world. They can't hurt you if you are hiding.

So I will be doing some serious research today. Which hotel to stay in while in Guelph and where to find the addicts which will lead me to find my cherished FENTANYL. I have the money,... I jsut need to do it. 

Becasue I just can't live this way anymore,....

It's just too painful.