Tuesday, October 3, 2023

 I feel like I have started a different chapter of my life. The beginning of the end. It was my birthday that really solidified how alone in this world I really am. And the feelings that came with that were overwhelming. I just didn't realize how alone I really was.

It's funny how your life happens. It really all depends on where you were born and to who,...

If you were blessed to be born into a middle class family then you probobly had a fairly descent life.

But i was born to a couple who didn't want me so gave me away. ABANDONED

Sometimes i think the only happy years I ever had were from 1965 to 1978 when I lived with my adoptive family the Morgans. They were a steady and loving family that provided me with my first home where I felt safe and loved unconditionally. I was just under a year old when they adopted me. And I stayed there until I was 15.

But when I hit adolescence my life changed. My mental illness - although not diagnosed for many years yet - started to show it's ugly head. And from that point on I just never felt like I ever fit in anywhere.

And to this day,... I still struggle. What is it that is so wrong with me that my life has been nothing but sadness,... depression and feeling unloved. I am so alone. The emptiness of my life drives me mad. 

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