I have just spent the past 10 minutes a puddle on the floor. I can't take anymore.

I am going downtown to find fentynl and I am ending my life. I am NOT COMING HOME UNTIL I HAVE FOUND SOME

Today i was suppose to have a treat out. My friend Becky came to pick me up and take me out to lunch. But I ended up having a meltdown and she had to bring me back home. I just couldn't hold it together. 

I have no one to talk to and no one supporting me. And I think this is what has happened to make me finally break down. I am dealing with all this stress and I have no one to talk to about it. I just blog. I dont' actually talk to anyone. I have tried to get my daughter here but she is just too busy. 

I AM SO FUCKING ALONE

The absolute only goal I have right now is to find a way to end my life.

I am fucking miserable.