I don't even know where to begin this post. I have been phoning multiple agencies for help but all I get is "We can't help you here,... try this number instead" I feel like all I do is sit on the phone and BEG for help that never materializes. Just the fucking run-around.
My blood pressure is extremely high again. Infact, just for fun I googled it. And the answer??? GO GET HELP IMMEDIATELY!
So do I call 911 and have to pay $80 I don't have? Go to ER - sit in there all day for a 2 month prescription and then when that runs out have to start all over again looking for meds? NO ~ I am done with that bullshit bandaid care.
Do I phone the urgent care in the HOPES of getting an appointment and where I am only allowed ONE complaint??? Even if they DO have an available appointment I have to walk an hour there and an hour back just to access it. I am not well enough anymore to do that.
Or do I do nothing and hope to die,....
I am totally alone looking for health care. Noone is helping me at all. No matter who I call or talk to it is bandaid care that I have to climb a mountain to get. So I sat and asked myself.
If noone else cares about my health care then why should I anymore?????????
And with that ~ I decided to stop looking for care and just let myself die.
But this realization broke me. Discovering that NOT ONE PERSON gives a rats ass about my severe high blood pressure, has just left me feeling despondant. Invisable,... unworthy and a waste of breath
So if noone even notices I am desperate then that tells me noone cares anyway,...
and that has left me feeling like the worst fucking person on this planet.
A MONSTER that does't deserve
And with that, I now just pray to die
If noone cares about my health care, then noone will care that I am dead.
And that is the most devastating realizations and I just can't live with that. NOONE FUCKING CARES!
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