I Hate November

I have just done my banking,... I'm thinking I may have to re-name this blog "Living in Poverty"

I got paid my $1308.00 for the month of November. I paid my rent and the rest of my bills and I have $187.00 left for food and everything else I need. ** sigh **

Seriously Doug?? (and I am referring to our Premier of Ontario who refuses to acknowledge that people on ODSP are hungry) You can sleep at night knowing I have $187.00 to feed myself for a whole month?

I have 1 pay before Christmas. So this shows how I have literally ZERO money for it. I can't even buy food. So holidays just don't happen. I haven't had the luxery of putting money aside to save over the past year. There is never anything leftover to put aside,... there is no money. NONE.

I hate November. It is the month of "anniversaries" and the lead up to the dreaded Christmas. First I have to face November 29th ~ the day the twins were born,... November 30th ~ the day Ian died,... and December 1st ~ the day Shawn died,.... THEN I have to see Christmas rammed down my throat at every turn. I have now developed a whole new appreciation for people who are not Christian and don't celebrate December 25th. I never noticed just how dominant this Christian holiday is. It's literally everywhere you look. You can't avoid it no matter how hard you try. I am sequestered away inside my apartment all day long and yet I am still subjected to the marketing of this holiday. BUY BUY BUY,... It has little to do with religion anymore and everything to do with celebrating with family. But the main theme is BUY BUY BUY,... 

How can I feel good about myself when I can't even buy my children or grandchild a gift. No matter how small the money just isn't there. I can't even buy the fixings for a holiday meal,...so I cant invite them here. That leaves me with little dignity at all. Humiliated that I can't even give my grand daughter a gift,... 

So I try to avoid the holiday altogether. But marketing! Because of marketing,... NO ONE can forget that Christmas is coming,... 

So because of this I can't stand this time of year. From here on in I will stay in as much as possible to avoid the Khaos of This Season Of Cheer,... I feel like putting a big poster on my door with a picture of the Grinch which reads "This house doesn't do Christmas,...Naff Off" Are we seeing how much this holiday triggers me? nope,... this year I am cancelling Christmas altogether. So I guess you really could say I am the Grinch!