Zero health coverage or care ~ just want to die now

I am sitting here feeling so disheartened. I just can't help feeling like the world is working against me. Everything I do ~ turns out to be a problem. Just once,.... just once I would like to do something and it just worked! No issue,... no problem,... just worked.

Obviously Ontario cancelled my OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance Plan). I guess when I went to BC they just went ahead and cancelled my Ontario card. But I have been to the ER once since then and noone said my OHIP wasn't valid then. But now it is.

So  now I have to get to an Ontario Service office. But again,... unlike the comfortable middle class who just hop in their vehicles and drive to one,... I can't do that. Again, I have to wait until all the stars align. The weather good,... my pain level manageable,... and I have money that day. (at the end of the month I am ususally broke and cant' buy anything) The weather has turned again making it very cold and the snow has started falling once more. I won't be able to get there for a while,... In the meantime if I have a stroke and I end up in long-term rehab with no medical coverage???? It will cost thousands and thousands of dollars. Maybe even millions,....

So Canada ~ stop bragging about your FREE health care as if you can't access it? What good is free,... and if you leave the province they automatically cancel it and you dont' even know. Leaving you uncovered for months and months. So right now I have zero health care coverage and no doctor or health care at all. Yet our Ontario Premier Doug Ford answered back to me in an automated reply that he takes care of all Ontarions,... BULLSHIT!!

I just literally risked my life leaving an ER as I knew I couldn't afford the bill I was going to get if I stayed. THAT is not looking after anyone. Doug Ford,... you have no idea how we struggle. And more tot the point he has proven he doesn't even care.

All I want is to make it to July so I can finally go on a vacation after 25 years of hardship and poverty. 

If I can just stay alive until then I don't give a shit what happens to me afterwards. But please,... body,.... please just hold out to let me go on my holiday,... But taking my blood pressure this morning has made me realize I probobly won't live that long. I am obviously in the second stage of hypertension and the third stage is DEATH.

What does it say about a province where a 62 yr old disabled person can't even get health care?

I hope I live long enough for my vacation,... but if I don't,.... at least I will have finally found peace from this struggle. I am so tired of this struggle,... I really do wish I could just close my eyes and it will all be over. No more problems,... no more issues,... no more worrying about heart attacks and strokes,.... just peace.

Sometimes I really do wonder why I was even born.