When you stand in a doorway to your new apartment and all you have to your name is two suitcases and a purse and that is all you own,... it changes you. When I tried moving to BC, I sold everything. At that point in time all my wordly possessions could be put into 2 suticases and 4 small boxes. So when I stood at the door of my apartment looking in to an empty room I knew I was starting all over again. At 62 years old.
But over time I replaced the necessities. Material things don't mean much to me anyway. I now have the basic needs and that seems to be all I need right now.
But looking back at that day when I had lost everything and knew I was literally starting over from nothing,... it changed me. I had now been homeless - twice - and it's a scary thing to be. I found it happened fast and both times I remember standing there thinking what the hell just happened,... and finding myself without a home.
But over the past months I am slowly recovering. Not being materialistic helped. I really don't care about 'things'. But even now, I will go to grab something and then remember "Oh I don't have that anymore,...' It used to bother me but now I just shrug,... oh well,... thats life.
I don't need 'things' anyway. As long as I have a roof over my head, heat and water I am ok. I lived in this apt with nothing for weeks. You learn to live with what you have and I found life wasn't any better with all my 'stuff'. Infact stuff is just that,... stuff,... not important.
It has taken me months to lick my wounds though. I felt so defeated when I returned to Ontario. But I have had months to reflect and now it is a brand new year. So I have decided to put this 'misfortune' behind me and move on. Draw a line under it - learn from it - and move on.
On New Years Eve I sat alone. It didn't bother me as it isn't a holiday I celebrate anyway as I dont' drink and I don't like parties,... so sitting at home with my kittens was ok. But I did a lot of thinkking and taking stock of my life. I knew I couldn't go on the way I had been. I hate living here and it drains me of my energy. But after trying desperately to move, I realized I never will. So on that night I did a lot of reflection.
I had two choices. The first one being the plan I already had,... suicide.
The second choice is to get away from this compound more so you can deal with the low life scum that thinks hurting people is a sport. Being here 24/7 unable to escape is frustrating. I end up being a recluse to avoid everyone. NOT A LIFE I WANT,...
So I decided,...
FUCK Tonya Halls,... FUCK Darren Green and Mark,.... if they want to hate me - they are welcome to. I no longer play on the playground. My ears are deaf to any gossip and lies that fly around. I now have a doorbell camera on my door and a cam that overlooks my whole entire apartment (except the bathroom) so if that woman is going to try and lie again by saying I am smoking in my unit??? I AM READY. I hand over the SD card to housing and they can go through the whole entire thing and the only thing they will see me do is EAT EDIBLES!!!! Absolutely NO SMOKING! and when they see this,... I will tell them to stop accusing me and if they do I will hire a lawyer and fight ethem. As I have had to live with a live active cam in my home - just to protect myself from Tonya Halls.
SO GO FOR IT TONYA!!!! I am 100% protected now. I am always in a cameras view now. I can finally prove a 'negative' I DIDN"T DO IT. I almost hope she DOES tattle just so I can throw it in her face and make her look a fool. At least housing would have 100% proof now that she is a liar!!!!
So try it Tonya - I am ready! Be prepared to have egg on your face!
And with this new protection comes new confidence. I no longer foing to hide from anyone. If they attack me - it's on video. If they lie - it's on video I didn't do it,.... if they do anything I am 100% protected now.
It's all on video now.
So my new years resolution is to get out of this compound a lot more. I can't do much in the winter,... but come spring I plan on getting out every single day now.
I can put up with 51 weeks of low life scum trying to get you evicted,... but just knowing that there will be one week where I can escape to a place where noone from housing even knows where I am??? THAT I can live with,...
I don't have a lot of money. But I am Queen of budgeting so I can make this money last a very long time if I am smart about it. Already I choose a holiday that is half the cost of my original plan (The rocky mountaineer for $6000 just for the ticket!!!) I decided cheap and cheerful is better than luxury. I am a simple tom-boy,... I wouldn't know what to do with luxury anyway.
So I start off the year with plans,... Ontario Housing and the tattlers have run my life for far too long. This year - I take my life back! If my family don't want me??? Their loss,...
If the people here only hate? I walk past them with a smile and a hello,...
I refuse to live a prisoner any longer. This year I live life on my terms.
So roll on 2026! I am ready for you!
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