So fucking angry

 I am in a horrible mood today. Since the moment I woke up everything has been going wrong. My doorbell camera broke,... that's something I rely on for my safety around here. I cannot replace it. Another thing gone,... No more walker,.... it's being taken away. No more safety of the doorbell camera,... no more anything but "No's" and "You can't have".  No,... No,... No,... You can't have it,.... you can't have anything everyone else gets to have because you are a mentally ill monster that doesn't deserve anything but $1308 a month. You are a joke to this society,... a burden to this society,... you are a drain on the resources of this society,...

No one wants you,....

No one cares you are suffering,....

So no one should care that all I want to do today is DIE!!!

I am angry. I am so angry that I am still breathing,.. 

Can you imagine waking up ANGRY? And what the hell do you do to calm down? There is nothing you can do to calm down. I just stay angry now. And it is torturous,...

I do not wish to be alive and I am very angry that I still am,...

And today I can't promise that I won't do anything about that.

You can only take so much before you explode and end it all in a horrific scene of violence. You won't allow MAiDs? Then I do it myself,....If I can't get my hands on fentenyl then I do what I need to do,... WHATEVER it takes to stop breathing!!!!!!!

Because I can't spend one more day of sitting in this anger and rage at being so fucking poor that I am invisable to this society.

I just need to DIE!

And today,.... I am so angry and so fed up that I just feel this overwhelming need to escape,... It's overwhelming!