About my new friend P**. I met this woman when she left a message on my Facebook way back in November of last year. It was a cold call message and she did NOT say how she knew me ~ only that she read my blog. I didn't even question this. She seemed (and still seems) so sincere. We have gotten together a few times and it has only been good and positive. Infact,... she has NEVER done or said anything for me to ever question her motives. She has only been kind and caring. HELPFUL.
But heres the thing,... She said once,... Tonya Halls once warned me off of you,... I hadn't even met you and she was telling me to stay away from you,... Because P** was so open and honest I believed her. I still do. But it made me realize she knows Tonya - the gossip down the hall I am having so much trouble with. P** says she hates Tonya and is on my side and felt bad for me that she has been such a cunt to me. I believed,.... I still do,.... however,...
When the cop was here about Tonya accusing me of writing on her door, the cop and I were talking about how she reads my blog, etc,... and then I told him how she even tells people I don't even know about me (P**). THATS when the cop pointed out to be careful. This P** came into my life in a cold message on Facebook right around the time I was having so much trouble. The cop didn't come right out and say it,... but his mannerisms suggested i was being foolish to allow this woman into my life at the time that Tonya is looking for information. The cop thinks she is a mole.
But from everything I have seen about P**, I don't think so. i really do think she is genuine and kind and caring and only reached out to help.
But,... it does beg the question,... HOW did you know about my blog to read it in the first place. You didn't know me,... yet you found my annonymous blog????? i don't buy that. You had to have been TOLD that my blog existed by someone. WHO?
I just can't trust anyone right now. I also believe she is the one who called the police on me too,... and if thats true then she doesn't know me AT ALL. She tried to STOP me. That says,... I don't care how much your suffering,... you have to stay alive for the Happy Shiny People. WHY would you wish that for me? If you knew me and knew how much I am suffering,... why would you try to stop me ending that? You wanted me to get caught and thrown in Homewood even though you knew how much I detested that. You wanted THAT for me and to then have to continue on with my shitty life. Sorry but I can't understand that. And i can't forgive that,....
So i don't know what to do. I have just told her that I am too depressed to talk to anyone right now (which is true) but I also don't know where this leaves us now.
Tonya Halls is a homegrown here in Fergus. Born and raised in the area and therefore knows everyone. I know no one. I am new here. But apparently she has been "warning people of me" all over this town that I have never even met. First of all,... what a cunt. She has nothing better to do? And secondly,... it means I can't trust anyone. I have had her minions play games with me before. I don't trust HER,... or anyone she associates with in any way shape or form. Which is everyone in this building and half of Fergus. So it just makes me give the tiniest bit of doubt with P**. Which isn't fair to P**,... but Tonya is such a problem she reaches everywhere. I just can't trust anyone who lives in the area that I just started talking to in the past 6 months. Tonya has literally made me paranoid of who I can talk to and trust.
THIS is why I hate living here and won't anymore. I dont care HOW I leave this apartment,... I just know I have to and I WILL!! Even if it means being taken out in a cardboard box ~ DEAD.
I HATE living in this building
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