Friday of a long weekend here in Canada. The weather is wet. Again the clouds hang dark and grey with bouts of rainfall throughout the day. Not a good day for walking so I will have to stay home. I am alone. I hate long weekends because I know my family gets together ~ and I am not invited. They will all get to see that precious little girl I so long for. It hurts. I can't lie. My chest aches today for my family,...

But when I turned on my tv today a new documentary had come out on Prime video. 99. THIS was the documentary I had heard about and now it has finally been released. For the first time in a long time I felt something other than depression and despair,... excitement. If you know me at all you know I have a deep love for football (thats soccer to you North Americans). And right now, that is about all I have left in my life so I am holding on to it for dear life. I make sure I budget so I can afford to get the streaming sites that have the football rights to the leagues I want. It's actaully not cheap and I do give up in other areas so I can afford to get them. But I dont mind as throughout my past 25 years no matter how chaotic life got,... I could always count on the weekend to be game day. No matter how bad things got,... I knew that come Saturday Manchester United and/or Toronto FC would have a game. It was my anchor when things got crazy. 

Way back in 1999 there was no such thing as streaming. Infact the internet itself was just coming out. So I couldn't watch games on tv. Instead I found myself sitting in local British Pubs watching the games. I think SKY or ITV had the rights to broadcast at that time so Pubs would air them through satellite. I would order myself a brunch and watch the game. Football isn't that popular over here and there were times I had to argue with groups of big burly men wanting to change the channel to another sport,... but for the most part I got to watch my Manchester United. And in 1999 they had the best season of their existence. The excitement of the team winning the treble was overwhelming. It was when i solidified my passion for not only the game but Manchester United as well. 

But sadly I never did find anyone who shared my love for this game. Canada is a hockey country. But sitting in arenas watching my ex play did nothing for me at all. It wasn't until I accidently caught a game on tv way back in the day that I got hooked. And I have not only never looked back,... but I have only deepened my love and obsession for the game over the years. And now,... it's the only thing I have left in my life. And I treasure it. Saturday is the day I long for. I turn on the tv and hear the music that tells me the game is about to start. Nothing compares to a good football game.

And so today I put aside my miserable life and instead I escape into the world of football. To the memory I will never forget. The Manchester United Treble. So I have my coffee and I sit in my chair. Although I can't see her, I can hear Maggie snoring from behind the couch.I push play on the remote. And I immerse myself in a world I am comfortable in. Football.