I am a classic rock girl of the '70's through and through. I grew up on the psychedelic sounds of Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, David Bowie, The Stones, Queen and The Who. As young teens we would hang out in our boyfrineds souped up cars. Usually tucked away in a dark parking lot somewhere. The car stereos blasting these rock opera "albums" from the speakers our boyfriends worked all summer to afford to proudly buy. In our very high heeled Candy shoes and our strawberry flavoured lip gloss we would hang out like the rebellious teenagers we were. I wore dark black eyeliner and sported classic rock band t-shirts. I was the quintessential 1970's rock chick.
So of course I grew up listening to the very famous Pink Floyd album "The Wall". Like a lot of music in that era, an album usually consisted of a story. Each song told a chapter. (One of my favourite albums in that time was "Genesis" ` Lamb lies down on Broadway). Most high school kids, has at one time, sat on their bedroom floor with headphones on (higher than a kite on their Jamacain weed which popped as you smoked it from the seeds left in,...) listening to the music that would stay with me for the next 50 years of my life. Lots of music comes and goes but in my heart I will always be a 1970's rock chick.
Today I was once again scouring YouTube for anything of interest. YouTube is free and therefore my main tv entertainment. But it can be irritating to find content you like. I click through hundreds of "recommended" videos before I come across anything that interests me. I think I waste a lot more time searching than I do actually watching videos. But today I happened to come across one titled "A Devastating Call from his wife led to this chilling 1979 classic" which ended up to be about the album The Wall by Pink Flloyd and what it is about.
It is basically the story of Roger Waters life. And it was so hauntingly similar to mine that I paused to pay more attention when I watched it. Not in how our lives went,... but instead in how we feel about society and how we became so jaded with the greed and fascination with fame and money. How he isolated himself away from society to avoid the depravation of what society has become. He speaks of his resentment and then feeling invisable and lost and thrown away,... all things that I have felt and am still feeling now. So jaded in the greed,... I had not known what the words meant all those years ago. I loved the clever lyrics and the music itself. But the meaning was vague. Now,... I can't help but have the meaning slap me in the face. I didn't understaand the words before because I had no experience in life. I was only a baby then. But now,... I have seen the world through exhausted eyes and it has left me suicidal. I don't like this new world. I don't fit into it,... maybe I never did but atleast in my early years I understood why things happened. Life seemed much fairer and easier. But now,... I have seen the evil that lives in people. I have lived too long in pain and poverty. I am resentful noone has come to save me. Back in my day no child would ever leave a parent to fall like I have. But the new Millennials have told me that I am mentally ill and they need to cut ties with me because I am toxic to them and therefore they need to self-care. Ok,... I'm not disputing the need to self care,... I'm disputing the fact that when someone is in trouble ~ grudges are disolved and love becomes the bigger need. But not with this new generation,... it's all about them and self care and protecting themselves from conflict at all cost. Right or wrong I hope they enjoy their conflict free life (without their mentally ill monster mother) because that decision broke my heart,... my spirit,... and eventaully my will to continue on living. Theres no right or wrong answer here. I think it's a generational thing. Or even a cultural thing,... some cultures would never allow a senior family member to struggle. Ill or not,... but North Americans seem to be more selfish leaving their parents and elders to fend for themselves. I know some are NOT in a postion to help. I get that. And my two daughters probobly aren't in a posittion to help me out. I'm not expecting them to move me in. But emotional support would have made all the difference in my downfall over the past 5 years. Just having them to help physically with groceries and other basic stuff would have been amazing. But it wsn't there because they weren't there. I understand in my head what their reasoning is,... but it hurt like hell and pretty much ended my motivation to live. Life without your children is not life,... it is existing.
So Roger,... I get it. I am there. I am fed up of society seeing through me,... your album took me through exactly how I am feeling.
Exhausted and fed up with life,...
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