I just need to die

 Well I am back to the old misery blog so what does that tell you? I am miserable again. Moving to BC has not been the 'save' I thought it was going to be. Infact,... so far, it's been nothing but a money drain. I have not only used up my whole budget but have had to tap into my 'living expenses' budget. Ro the tune of thousands of dollars. That money was put away as I DONT MAKE ENOUGH TO SURVIVE EACH MONTH AND THAT MONEY IS TO SUPLEMENT THAT LOSS!! Now when the time comes to pay my rent - the money wont be there.

This RV has been nothing but a money pit.

I like the RV and I like the place i am in. But I was not expecting to be drained of every penny I had to start up this life. I have had smells,... water issues,... and everything came with a hefty pricetag to fix. Today I find out I need a new fridge. The one in here is so bad I have had to throw out chunky milk 3 times as the fridge wont work. I have had to throw out expensive meat and groceries as they have gone bad.

I can't help thinking I have gone from the frying pan into the fire,....

Why am I being forced to live? Why is everything i touch a struggle? Why can't I just live - normally - without hassle? WHY?

I have decdied this move was not the right thing to do. If the RV had been sound and i didnt' have to waste money 'fixing' it, things would have been fine. But they are not fine. Everything in this RV was broken and cost me my savings to fix. Now I have nothing left and have gone into debt and still I need a new fridge.

Time to make some hard decisions,.... stop my meds and hope to die.

I have had enough of being scammed and treated like a horrible fucking person,...

I just need to die!!!!!!!!!!!

What did I ever do in this lifetime that has left me struggling every single place I go,.... I can't take it anymore. I just want to die now.