This is just a purge,... I just need to get this off my chest but i dont' want Kirk to read this as it would hurt him.

I have to talk about this. Kirk. I had the opportunity to go to his home a few months back. I was shocked. He is a hoarder. A REAL hoarder. I walked into his home and the first thing that hit me was the smell. Mildew,... stale urine,... and looking around I had to forcefully NOT show how I felt in my facial expresion. Because I had never seen anyone live like this before. Not in real life. I have on tv on the hoarding shows,  but never seen it up close and real. Nothing had been washed. The walls,... the doors,... every surface in that house had a build up of grime on it. YEARS of grime on it,...I couldn't help noticing the fridge door was black with dirt. I have a germ phobia with my OCD and this was way too much for me. I kept my feelings hidden as he gave me a tour of his home. He has not looked after a thing in the 30 years he has been in that home. Some of the floors were particle board!! The place wasn't even finished!! This place,... and I feel bad saying it,... is a dump. You could not PAY me to live there. It is unhygenic. And to know he raised his family of his wife and 3 children in that place is shocking to me. No child should ever have to live in those conditions. It was horrible.

It really changed my perspective of Kirk. I have only ever known him in my enviroment as he was married so we always hung out here at my apartment. I knew he was one of those people who didn't fix things and was cheap and bought shitty stuff like cars because hes too cheap to buy good stuff. The cars he buys have something wrong with them. We almost had a blow out of one of the tires when he took me out last time. I never felt safe in any of his vehicles except his work truck. Everything else was cheap and seemed to run on a wing and a prayer. That man hated spending money on what he should have.

I'm very confused about Kirk. He let his family grow up in squallor. Thats the only word I can think of to use for his home. Yet,... he spent freely on the women he 'dated'. I know this for a fact as he spoiled me rotten with buying shit for me over the years when he was trying so desperately to gaslight me into staying together. Big ticket items. A bed,... a computer screen,... a tv,... I mean I just had to ask and he bought it for me. So I used to think of him as generous. Rich even,... But now that I have seen how he made his family grow up - I am appalled. He did not spend one penny of his money on his home or his family. He spent his money on his women. And I know he is broke. From when we tried to be together he couldn't even come up with first and last months rent as he is BROKE! His house should be condemned and bulldozed down to the ground it is in such deplorable conditions. So where is all his money? He has worked at a great job all of his life but has NOTHING to show for it. And I know why,... as he spent all of his money on HIS HAREM of women. 

I cannot respect a man who does this to his family. His poor wife spent her married life sharing him with numerous other women. And now to learn that he left his family in horading squallor to do it?? I just have no respect for that. NO RESPECT AT ALL. And THIS is the real reason I told Kirk I no longer wish to remain friends. It is NOT because he went MIA and didn't text me. That was just an excuse so I didn't have to tell him the real reason which is I cannot respect a man who literally LIVES IN FILTH! It's not healthy or acceptable. And to allow his children to grow up in that enviorment?? NO RESPECT! I mean you have to see this place to get it,... 30 years of hoarding and NOT CLEANING IT AT ALL ~ EVER! It is grime on top of grime on top of grime,... and it SMELLS! Deplorable to live in and I feel horrible that his children had to grow up in that. 

Kirk is not the man he said he is. He is selfish for spending his families money on his women and leaving his family at home to rot in filth. NO RESPECT FOR THAT AT ALL. And seeing his house changed my feelings for him instantly. No one who is in their right mind and sane can live in that filth and squallor. And more to the point,... make his CHILDREN grow up in that was inhumane. i will never be talking with this man ever again. he is a womanizing selfish prick. And he lives in absolute FILTH!