Well I think I have done it now. I left an email at my lawyers basically telling them I have had enough. I am NOT going to these new appointments and I am NOT doing anything until I see a family doctor. 

I also told them I am suicidal. But will they send help? No,... I have said I am suicidal in emails before but they got mad at me and my actual Lawyer (who I had never actually talked with before) phoned me and 'straitened me out' about writing in this blog. Instead of him asking do I need help? I get scoldedd for writing in my blog and not having it set to private. NO HELP for my mental health though. JUST got mad at me. So I am not expecting them to be happy about this decision. Infact I expect them to fire me and send me a very large bill to pay.

But I dont care,... i have had enough. I am done. 

If I can't have a family doctor to get this whole shit sortted out properly then I'd rather just forget the whole thing and end my life. 

All I want now is to be dead. Now I really don't have anything to live for but debt, pain and poverty.

Now,... i just want to stop breathing and end my life.