Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Quick update

Well, I have finally started remembering a few things. The number one thing,... how I ended up taking 30 klonopin without even realizing. Dumb,... dumb,... dumb,...
I now remember getting a tub of yogurt and putting 3 or 4 klonopin in each mouthful on the spoon. Why?? I have no idea. I was pprobably already so messed up I didn't realize what I was doing. I certainly wouldn't have done it if I was thinking strait.  So at least now I'm not tearing through the apartment looking for them. I know they're gone.
I think I blacked out for two days. (definitely 24 hours anyway) And its' just today that I'm starting to feel better physically. Serves me right.
But it's frightening to know that I can lose my mind (cuz basically that's what happened ~ I wasn't in control of my mind anymore) and do stuff with serious consequences. 
There are times I really hate this illness. It robs me of who I am and what I do. 
I just want to be normal. But that's never going to happen. sad. 

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