Monday, January 14, 2013

Perception of my Life

Well it's certainly been awhile since I last wrote on this blog. But tonight, I just feel so empty and low that I just wanted to write a few lines.

The above picture is of "West Park Asylum" (taken by Pete Osborne who I do not know and (shhhhh) he doesn't know I have borrowed it off of the internet. But when I came across it I just felt drawn to it. I have always been an admirer of old abandoned buildings and actually collect photographs of them. I find them so hauntingly beautiful.

But this one in particular just seemed to be such a reflection of what I feel and how I perceive my life. I feel like inside of my head is dark and broken and sad,... but looking out, the world is bright and "normal". I long to live in that world but just can't seem to find the doorway out. So instead I am stuck inside.It's a sad and lonely existence.

I suffer from severe depression, anxiety and agoraphobia. If you have ever wondered just what that might be like, just look at this picture. And no that you can never get out.


ZebraShark said...

Wow, you have summed up exactly how I feel! I recently started getting help and have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I know what it's like and I'm right here with you.

Rob-bear said...

I understand at least part of your experience. It would be nice to get out in the sunshine!

spirit said...

Glad to hear from you ...was worried.The photo is a brilliant description of how someoe may feel with depression...i know its so, so hard, but we keep 'plodding' on...and Rob oh for some sunshine(metorphorically) and for real . hugs x

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel. I've never gone for help. I've been living with it for as long as i remember...just kept telling myself that it was normal everyones faking it. Now as an adult i realize thats not true they really are happy and it makes me feel even more alone and broken. Looking at there happiness through broken sad eyes and struggling daily to fake it.