Sunday, March 4, 2012

rambling

Today has been a day of feeling oddly unsettled ~ a restless boredom ~ that I couldn't seem to change. I was a little agitated because I just couldn't seem to relax. I would try to watch TV but was too restless and couldn't concentrate. I would try reading but that didnt' work for the same reason. I ended up going for an afternoon nap just because I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin. It was quite a weird feeling. When I woke up at dinner time I seemed to feel a bit more settled.

I had had a nice evening with my brother and sister-in-law on Saturday. But when I got home I just couldn't relax or concentrate and just felt 'uncomfortable'. I went to bed but woke up on and off throughout the night. By morning I felt anything but rested. It has been a 'weird' couple of days to say the least.

It is now 2:30 in the morning and as usual I am still up. I don't feel the least bit tired. I have decided to stop taking all drugs not prescribed by my doctor for awhile. Usually if I felt this awake I would delve into my stores of medication I have 'accumulated' over the past few years. Namely Seroquel. But in light of that 'scary episode" that happened a few weeks ago I have decided to take only my prescribed medications. Unfortunately that is now only ciprolex ~ nothing sedating in that at all.

So over the past while I have been turning to weed. Just smoking a bare minimal just to make me relaxed. It seems to be working. But now I'm wondering,... is this the cause of my 'restlessness' over the past few days. Maybe its a combination of not taking lots of my usual drugs and starting the pot regime. I don['t know. I also have a sniffy nose and scratchy throat so maybe its just that I'm getting a cold. Who knows.

I just know I need to go to bed and I don't want to have to take Seroquel to put me to sleep. I don't feel like pot as my throat is kind of sore already and that will just make it worse.Maybe I will make myself a hot Neo-Citran.

I am babbling. But that's because my mind seems to be all over the place. if only I could finally get a full, deep sleep I know I would feel a lot better.

Damn insomnia. It seems to have left me a scatter-brained mess.

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