Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Back on Seroquel :-(

I went to my GP yesterday. I did not tell her about taking all the Tylenol last week. Instead I told her about how 6 months ago I had 3 abnormal liver results in my blood work and my last doctor didn't tell me what that meant so I'm asking her now. She decided to have me go for blood work to get it re-tested. This is exactly what I wanted her to do so I was pleased. Now I will know if my liver was affected last week due to all the Tylenol I took. And my Doctor didn't have to know what I did. I know it isn't smart to not always be honest with your Doctor but I just couldn't bring myself to tell her what I had done.
In regards to my meds. She is going to have me continue on with the Cipralex only I'm now doubling the dose from 10mg to 20mg a day. She did not continue any of my anxiety meds which has freaked me out as I don't know how on earth I'm going to manage without them. My seroquel ran out 3 weeks ago so i told her that so she told me to start them up again. I'm not sure how I feel about this as Seroquel has certainly given me problems over the past 4 or 5 yrs I've been taking it. It leaves me feeling completely 'tranquillized' and I find I can't function. Over the past 3 weeks I was off of it I had suddenly 'woken up' I was getting up again at normal hours and not sleeping my life away. It felt nice. But last night I took my 300mg at around 4 in the afternoon. By 6:30pm I couldn't keep my eyes open so went to bed. I didn't wake up again until 1:30 this afternoon. That means I slept for 19 hours!!!!! And that hangover feeling of not fully waking up is back. So I'm really disappointed that I have been told I have to stay on this medication. I feel like this med has robbed me of my life for the past 4 or 5 years.
I have no medical coverage. I am living on a small disability and can't afford meds. So my doctors have been giving me samples from drug reps for years. I am so very grateful for this. I could not be on medication at all if they hadn't done this. So I came home yesterday loaded with my one month supply of meds. Including the dreaded Seroquel. I wished I didn't have to take this drug but it's one of the few the doctors can get through reps so that's why they keep me on it. Although they do insist it is a very effective drug and is doing me a lot of good. I have my doubts. It all comes back to the "Which is worse,... the disease or the side effects of the drugs used to combat it??" I'm so confused I just don't know anymore. I mean really,.... sleeping for 19 hours???? What kind of a life is that? I feel like all I do in my life is sleep. ~ sigh ~ But when doctors insist I'm better off taking it what am I to do?
I'm really getting tired of this mental illness.....

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