Monday, June 20, 2011

Discouraged for having to wait so long

I got a message from Tr****s, a Guelph-area mental health service, last week to give them a call to do a 20 minute intake. I did that today. My new family doctor had put in a "semi-urgent" referral for me to see a psychiatrist but this place is what is calling me so I'm a little bit confused. . I thought the referral was to an actual psychiatrist.  Anyway, she asked me general questions about my past mental health history and whats going on right now. She then made me an appointment for AUGUST 30th.  Seriously??? My doctor told them it was a "semi-urgent" referral. I told her how depressed I've been and how I'm not functioning anymore and yes I'm having suicidal thoughts but not urges (Yes, I lied about the urges as I don't want to go into the hospital) So I'm not sure what this place refers to as 'normal' 'semi-urgent' or 'urgent'. But for someone who has admitted to suicidal thoughts I would have thought they'd be concerned enough to get an appointment in less time than 2 and a half MONTHS. I'm really disappointed with this appointment being so far away. Anyway,.. I then asked her which psychiatrist I would be going to see and she then told me this wasn't for a psychiatrist. She said my app't would be with a "mental health worker" ??? What is that? Are they even a qualified doctor of any kind? I didn't ask. I didnt' think to until I got home and wondered about it. She said this person will speak with me and access me and then recommend any further treatments I should need. When I asked about psychiatrists she then said that there is a long wait for psychiatrists in my area. Now I know I should have been more on the ball and asked her questions while I had her on the phone but I didn't. So now I'm not sure if she meant I'm now on a list for a psychiatrist or if they even refer the patients to psychiatrists in the first place. I'm getting the feeling that this place recommends support in the community like support groups, etc,...
I don't know. I really am quite confused.
I had someone comment on this blog once that they live in Ontario and her and a few other family members have had great mental health care. I believe her. And that's why I'm wondering why I always seem to fall through the cracks in my care. How are all these other people in Ontario getting to see psychiatrists right away? The only thing I can think of is they are going private. I cannot afford to go private as I have no health coverage at all except OHIP. So I have to wait on a list of psychiatrists that are covered by OHIP.
I am quite discouraged right now.
I think the only way I am going to get any immediate care is if I am in crisis and brought to an emergency ward by ambulance. I certainly don't want THAT to happen. But I don't see why I have to wait until the fall to get any kind of support or care.
And then when I do attempt to OD people always ask why I did it. Well maybe it's because I needed help immediately but I was told I had to wait 2 and a half months ~ and that was just for the assessment where they would evaluate me and then recommend care. So there will be even more waiting after that appointment. It could be September or even October before I finally GET any actual help.
Now I'm not saying I'm special and deserve any special treatment. I'm just wondering why I seem to have to wait all the time on lists when other people from Ontario get in touch with me and tell me their care was much better. I'm only asking to be given the same opportunities as everyone else. I don't think that's too much to ask for.
So I am feeling quite disheartened tonight. I feel over-looked and like no one really cares if I get any professional help or not. I am definitely feeling like a "number lost in the system" right now. I expected more. But right now, I'm too tired and depressed to fight for anything. Right now having a shower is like climbing a mountain. Fighting the system is just way too overwhelming to think about let alone try.
I'm just too unwell.  ~ sigh,....

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