Saturday, April 2, 2011

Why did I even move

This whole moving fiasco has done me in. Moving once was stressful enough. Running into all these problems and then having to move again has been too much. I should never have made the decision to move in the first place. I may have been 3 and a half hours away from my family but I was in a nice, clean large apartment. Moving to this area has been EXPENSIVE! (and having to do it twice has been twice as expensive) And to top it all off,... I still don't see my daughters. One is at College and busy with that. The other is in high school and is always out with her friends. So why did I bother? I may have been missing them in my old apartment but here,... I just feel rejected because I'm just around the corner yet they always have something else to do. I'm just as lonely only now I can add rejection to my list of self hates.
For the past week I have done nothing but cry and sleep and watch TV. I am so depressed. So sad. I'm paralyzed. I will be getting a new doctor but not until I move as she's in my new town. Until then I am forced to remain on the dreaded Seroquel which obviously isn't working for my depression. All it's doing is making me sleep most of my days becasue of the horrible "elephant tranguillizer" effect it has on me.
This is no life.

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