Saturday, February 5, 2011

Crashed

I don't know what has happened. I was doing so well. I was packing up my apartment. Changing my address everywhere. Getting everything done that needs doing when you move. But suddenly on Monday morning I woke up really depressed. (I had been doing better for about a month) Now I know I have to continue packing and getting ready for the move but I can't. I have become so depressed I can't think of anything but what I failure I am and moving isn't going to change that. The 'well' part of my brain is starting to panic as I know I can't screw this up. I HAVE to be packed and ready by the 24th of this month ~ only 3 weeks away ~ But the 'sick' part of my brain is taking over. I just don't care anymore. I don't care it things don't get done. I don't care if I don't move. I don't care what will happen to me and my belongings if I'm not done in time. I just don't care if I live or die right now.
So for the past week I have basically sat on the couch staring at the TV. My only accomplishment every day seems to be getting into the shower. I binge eat (even though I am totally broke and can't afford grocery shopping and have to ration everything in my cupboards) I don't care. I don't care. I don't care,....
I'm too depressed and flat and just want it all to end.

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