Thursday, January 27, 2011

Still sad and now binging. Feeling like a failure.

I'm still feeling rather down and sad. I hope I'm not retreating back to how I was. With having to move in less than a month I just can't be sitting around doing nothing. But that's what has happened the past few days. Just can't find any motivation to continue on with packing this apt up.
I'm also binging a lot. I just eat so much. I eat constantly until I feel so full I think I'm going to burst. I don't purge although I feel like it would relieve that horrible full feeling. I just can't bring myself to do that. I don't know why I binge. I try not to but can't seem to control it. It feels good at the time but then I feel horrible later. I hate myself for being so weak and not being able to stop. I'm disgusted in myself. WHY do I do it???
I don't know a lot about binging. Is it considered an eating disorder? Is there stuff I can do to stop it? Is it triggered by something?
I've been binging for two days now. Today I am going to try my best not to. (but not feeling very optimistic I will be able to control it)
It really makes me feel like a failure.

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