Saturday, January 15, 2011

Letting go,....

Well it’s slowly getting done. Although today I did way too much. I think the hardest part of all of this has been going through all of my things and having to decide what to keep and what to throw/give away. You accumulate so much over a lifetime. Memories. Almost ever thing you own has a memory to it. And because this new apt will be so much smaller I am being forced to go through everything and decide just how important that item is to me. Some things were easy. Stuff you have in the back of your cupboards and closets that you haven’t seen in years. Pretty safe to discard all that. But I’ve had to cut my belongings down to about half. Think about that. Look around your home and picture it with half of your stuff gone. It’s not as easy as it sounds. Half your furniture. Half your clothes,… What would you choose? There have been days that I have had a bunch of stuff layed out on the floor and I have actually cried because I just don’t want to part with a lot of it. But I have no choice. There just isn’t room for it at the new place. It was like throwing away memories. I know people say it’s just stuff and you don’t need it. But I have parted with all my crystal,… all my china,… half of my kitchen. My favorite lounge chair,… a whole spare room of furniture and stuff I hoped I could keep for a long time. But a lot of it is already gone. Every load I take to the charity shop is hard. And I’ve done 9 so far. ~ sigh ~ I never dreamed I would have to give away things I wanted my children to have. (They’ve taken some stuff but not as much as I’d hope)
So over the past 2 or 3 weeks I have been taking my time. Every day I sort through a cupboard,… a closet,… and keep some, and discard some,… I pack a box or two a day. I go to the charity shop every few days. I run to the dumpster once a week. Bit by bit I am getting it done. I’m sure once I have finished and I am settled into the new place I won’t miss the stuff I had to get rid of. That’s the beauty of “stuff’ I guess. It is just “stuff” and you eventually forget all about it. But actually doing the ‘getting rid’ has been a lot harder than I ever thought it would be. Memories,….
The fibromyalgia has flared up some too since I started. All that lifting and carrying, etc,… so I’m going to slow down a bit from here on in. I have plenty of time because I started this so early. (The Virgo in me I guess) Last time I moved it was so quick. I had 17 days to find a place and pack a whole townhouse and be out. I don’t want to have to feel that pressure again. Luckily I have a lot longer this time. Besides I already have a lot done. So I think I can slack off a bit now. Just a box or two a day now. Not having the pressure actually lets me enjoy the anticipation of knowing I’ll be back around my kids soon. I’m sooooo going to enjoy that and take full advantage of it. Hayley and I have already made a ton of plans. :-)
So, Now I’ve had my little moan about how sad it is to discard. I won’t think about it again. It’s done. So now,… I just look forward. Onwards and upwards. Isn’t that what they say? So I’m moving on.

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