For the past few weeks I have been feeling alive again. Anyone following this blog knows that I am moving in a month so I have been quite busy packing & sorting, etc,... I have been going to bed at a descent hour and waking up at a descent hour. I have felt motivated and productive.
Then 3 days ago I realized that I haven't taken my medication for about 3 weeks. (How you can just "forget" to take meds for that long I have no idea but I managed to,...) So 3 days ago I started taking my 400 mg of Seroquel again.
And then,... bang,.... suddenly I am feeling exhausted all the time. I have been sleeping until after noon. I fight to keep my eyes open all day long. I drink 3 very large coffees instead of my usual one and I still feel groggy. I have no motivation what-so-ever. All I want to do is sit on the couch and stare at the TV. IT'S THE SEROQUEL!!!!! I have been having trouble with this medication for about 4 yrs now. When I'm off of it I feel alive & awake,... when I am on it, I feel like a complete zombie who can't stay awake. It's so frustrating.
Now I'm not sure what to do. I have no choice but to continue on packing this apt all up for my move but when I am on this med I can't do that. No matter how badly I want to do it I just can't. It's like I'm experiencing a "body stone". My mind is flat & depressed. My body like lead.
So I'm thinking of staying off meds until I have moved. (Feb 25th). I know it's not good to be on and off your meds all the time but I think in this circumstance I just can't afford to be sleeping all day and watching TV like a zombie when I'm awake. Getting ready for this move is a necessity I can't screw up. And in order to be able to do it - I can't take my Seroquel.
I have arranged to get set up with a new psychiatrist once I am settled in at the new place. They have said that they start out by giving me a 90 minute assessment so they can figure out where I am mentally. Once that's done I am assigned a new doctor. I am actually looking forward to this because for the past 10 yrs I have moved so many times I have no continuity of care and therefore I keep getting these quick diagnoses given to me,.. then all new meds,... then I move and it starts all over again. I have been told I have numerous different mental illnesses. I'm hoping that this time, I can be assessed properly and given a proper diagnosis. I just feel I need to "start from scratch" with a fresh perspective.
So knowing all this, I'm not so apt to be so worried about stopping my meds. I'll just wait for the new doctor to take over and hopefully I will be given the proper medication at that time. (I don't think the Seroquel has been helping me anyway)
This move is going to be a fresh start in a lot of different ways and the care of my mental illness will be a fresh start too.