Saturday, October 2, 2010

So conflicted,....

It's really eerie right now. I am in the middle with contact from a 'friend' on twitter who is in trouble. She is wanting to kill herself. So I am trying like crazy to get through to her to tell her to stop taking anymore pills. In public, by direct message & also by email. Things are still up in the air.
But I totally know how she feels and I totally understand how you just can't bear another minute of this mental torture. mental illness is just so PAINFUL and I get that shes in pain. But I need for her to stop and NOT DO THIS. I'm so conflicted. I feel like such a hypocrite because I know this need to end it and I know the peaceful feeling when you make the decision to go ahead and take those pills. I know the relief from the pain. But I still don't want her to do it. So am I forcing her to continue on with a life of pain or am I "doing the right thing" in trying to get her to stop. If it were me? I would continue on to get the relief,.. but becasue its not me I want her to stop. I'm such a hypocrite.

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